Jim Rohn said that and he was absolutely right! Of course, this statement goes against the established and time tested ways of just working your butt off and everything will fall into place. And I'm glad it does, because I'm here to tell you that the old ways of pursuing success at all costs, just doesn't work. It may bring you some success in a very narrowly focused area, but the rest of your life will be a mess! A successful life is one that encompasses all areas of your life, not just your business, not just your car or clothes, or possessions, or even your relationships. Sure, that's what society and the media want us to believe and portrays for us, but those who go down that path usually end up very sad, confused and alone. Real success, is a true balance of all the areas of your life. It's like the old three legged stool example, take one leg away and it wont be long until you fall. Live your life to the fullest in all your areas, never overworking, always knowing tomorrow is another day. Fill your heart with gratitude for who you are, what you have in your life, and you will attract even more. Treat people with the kindness and respect they deserve and you will never lack for either friends nor clients. Become the person you know you can be, and success will not be far behind.
Ah, the past. We all have one, and sometimes we look back on it with fondness and sometimes we'd rather not remember it at all. Nothing ever happens in the past, it all happens right now in this present moment. All the past is, is just a collection of present moments that have been stored in your brain's memory. Our brains have this memory so that we can learn tasks and repeat them when needed and learn from our past mistakes. Many of us, however, keep bringing up old past moments that made us feel bad and relive them over and over, as if they just actually occurred once again in the present moment. How does this make us feel? We feel exactly the way we felt when it happened. How is this possible? Because your memory is a thought, and thoughts make us feel a certain way, which makes us act a certain way, which gives us the results we get in our lives. So if you're stuck in the past, guess what you're going to keep getting now? The remedy? Get your head out of your past! Simple really.
Knowing why shows you how
So many of us are stuck in life. We want to try to accomplish more for ourselves, our family and friends, for the betterment of the world, but we just don't know "how." Sorry to break it to you, but you're not supposed to know how. How could you know how to do something you haven't done yet? So what's the secret for all those successful people that are crushing it in their lives? They all have a "why." Once you discover your why, the reason you get out of bed in the morning, the vision that you can focus on when times are tough, the incredible reason you are driven to create your future vision, the hows will show up. The hows will not show up from the couch, you have to get in the game, taking action to realize your dreams. With action comes the hows. Don't bother to plan out the hows, just plan your next move, the hows will take care of themselves. I think you know "why" you read this today.
start at the end to finish first
The #1 thing all successful people have in common is vision. They quickly move, in their minds, to what things will be like once they reach their goal. They see themselves in that corner office, living a rich life with their family in a nice home, driving the car they always wanted, living a life of philanthropy and ensuring they give people more in use value than they take in cash value. And you can do it too. All you have to do is live your life from the end result. Close your eyes and see where you want to be in 1,3,5,or 10 years from now. Feel how you would feel once you get there, smell the smells all around you and give thanks for getting there. Don't worry "how" you're going to get there, that's what you'll figure out once you put things into motion. The "hows" will take care of themselves. If you develop a "why" you want to do what you want to do, and then follow it up with visualizing the end result every day for just a few minutes, there won't be any stopping you! What are you visualizing?
Feelings... whoa, whoa, whoa
Most of you have probably heard this quote before and I'm sure you already agree with it. But agreeing with something doesn't cause any action, and it's action you need to cause change. Once you realize the affect your words have on others, and yourself, you start to choose them more carefully. Telling yourself that you "suck" at everything new you try, makes you feel like a complete failure. But your supposed to suck at something new! Common sense, yes? Common practice, no. Remember this saying: "The thoughts we think cause the way we feel; the way we feel causes the way we act; and the way we act gives us the results we get in our lives." The key word here is "feel." How you feel will give you what you get out of life! It's that simple. That's why so many positive people seem so happy, to the chagrin of the negative folks I might add. But it all starts with our thoughts. I'll give you a moment to think about that.
The great Sufi poet Rumi said this and he was absolutely correct! So many of us wander through life searching for answers. We think we just need to do one more deal, take one more course, complete one more project or turn over one more stone and the answer will magically appear. While all the while the answer lies dormant within us. You already know all you need to know to become successful. You just need to start applying it. Your ship of dreams will never just appear, it's built board by board beneath your feet until one day it's ready to sail. But you need to lay the keel of your boat, today. What are you waiting for?
the blame game
Dr. Wayne Dyer said this and he was absolutely right! It's easy to shift the blame for something that didn't go the way we wanted it to, to another person, place or thing. In fact, it may even be therapeutic if it relieves the pressure and then allows you to think things through in the short term. But regardless where you place the blame, in the long run, it will never change you or the circumstances that surrounded what took place. Yes, sometimes things happen to us from outside sources that are out of our control - or are they? We all have free will, why then did we put ourselves in a position to be affected by what happened? Stop blaming others for where you are in your life and start living it, accepting full responsibility for what happens. The good and the not so good. Be a Victor of life not a Victim. Put blame where it belongs - in the rear view mirror.
I have seen it so many times in my 30 years of working in factories and hospitals as a Millwright and Power Engineer - managers get trained to manage numbers, but forget to mange their greatest resource...the people. It's not their fault really, we never learn how to be leaders in school and when we are thrust into that position later during our working careers, we're taught by people that were taught by people (and so on...) and very few companies actually take the time to train quality leaders. What makes a good leader you ask? I love this definition by Lao Tzu the father of Taoism, "A great leader is when the people barely know he exists, when their work is done they will say, 'We did it ourselves'." We must learn to walk behind the people we lead, being the last in line for accolades and the first in line when the work starts. Do this, and you will have no lack of loyal followers.
If you follow today's media you could easily get the impression the whole world is going to hell in a hand basket, and fast! But if you take a moment to think about, on a daily basis, how many apparent acts of evil do we witness? Sure, there are always jerks around that get in our faces now and again, but far and away most of our interactions with others is quite good. It's the same when you travel to different countries. People are, by in large, very friendly and helpful, not the monsters the media makes them out to be. The point is, if you focus on kindness, that's what you'll find in others. If you focus on evil, well, you know what you'll find.
Mike Arend is an author, coach, and speaker that specializes in helping others become their greatest versions.